The DURGA in Me…

The DURGA in Me…

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other WOMEN bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank my friend and co-bloggerAnubhuti Sen Sharma for introducing me. I am a huge fan of her blog Cries and Laughter where she talks about her journey with her little one. Here is what she thinks of todays prompt.

I would like to introduce my readers to my friend & co-blogger Veena Regit Her blog talks about interesting facts about her parenting journey and product reviews at The Reading Momster and her blog about the prompt is here

The Prompt for today is ”Identifying the Avatar of DURGA whom I relate to”


Durga – the goddess of power and strength, through all her forms, encompasses the essence of salvation and sacrifice.
A woman plays different avatar of Durga in her mundane life but every woman does have a dominant characteristic which embodies one of the avatars closer to heart than the others.
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I have always felt closer to the sixth avatar – Kushmanda
She is the 4th avatar and she was the commander chief chosen by other Gods in the war against demons snd she is considered as the creator of universe, the one who is fierce and powerful in order to kill the demons, will change her avatar from a calm and beautiful Parvati to the destroyer of evil.
  • I believe in fighting with the evil power that tells me I cannot achieve something.
  • I believe in destroying the darkness of ignorance and spreading the joy of a free soul.
  • I believe in living the life of a fierce woman who would be standing tall for anyone who I can help.
  • I believe I am creator of my own world, my own Universe. I have the power to make it the way i want it to be.
  • I am the One who gave Birth to another 2 AVATARS of Durga who will take charge of their own lives very soon.
  • I aim to make my Girls fearless and to keep them away from the darkness of dependancy and weakness. They ll be as fierce as every AVATAR of DURGA.

Durga is a woman who is strong, powerful, emotionally strong,  fearless, knows how to stand for her rights. She is the One who can not be suppressed anymore unless she wants to surrender for love. She is any other woman living her ordinary life and giving beuty and wisdom to the whole world.

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Motherhood changed me in an Better Person…

Motherhood changed me in an Better Person…

She keeps coasting her fingers over the ugly stretch marks.

She listens to the deep breathing of the baby cocooned in her heat.

She sits looking at the little pieces of herself all night sometimes…

while sometimes she also misses her sharp Body curves

She smiles in the dark at the peculiarity of it all. One moment she was about to fly for a vacation with Darling Husband and the next thing she knew was she didn’t get her period. In a state of panic and nervous excitement, she ended up taking a pregnancy test in the toilet of the clinic where she had bought the test from. Somehow, she didn’t end up feeling crazy and lost like she thought she would. She was the epitome of calmness following the stunning realization that in the world of black and white, she knew it was the rainbow she had been looking for, lurking in her womb..

That was the start of my motherhood. The day 2 little chickpeas started growing inside me, I could feel the power of Unconditional Love. It was a difficult pregnancy with lots of Ups and Downs but with every ‘Up’ I was happier and with every ‘Down’ I became stronger and more positive to bring them to this world in best of health.

When Pooja told me about this Wonderful Blog Train she was hosting on my favourite topic. I was all excited and decked up to board over. Thanks Karuna from Name Place Animal Thing  to give me a hand to board the Train. I abhttp://nameplaceanimalthing.in/solutrly loved her Story

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MnM (Meher n Myrah) are about to turn 3 and these 3 years I have discovered a whole new self. If I turn back few pages of my life, I see a completely different person narrated there.I have changed a lot but major changes are like:

  • Changed Perspective:

For 10 years I stayed away from my parents, so I have been a tough and self dependent person who could eat or drink anything and everything. Infections, travel dangers and all looked mere talks to me.

All of sudden, this perspective changed with kids. Suddenly Maggie or Canned Juices became so unhealthy. Something that falls on floor is like a bomb now. All healthy foods are now my best admired bunch. It hurts me deep if they fall, It tears me if they get sick. The injections have become so painful from last couple of years.

That’s Motherhood.. a part of your heart is roaming out of your body and all we do is to look after that part , to make sure its healthy ad happy.

  • Making A Little Peace with Life.

My mom is very near to a OCD mindset. Too perfect with everything. Anyone drops to her place unannounced also, the house is in perfect shape and you are greeted very warmly with a smile. So I always wanted to achieve everything as perfect as hers.

But with kids now, I have made that peace with life. I am fine if my house is a mess , I am fine if a day food is not so well cooked and I am fine now if I look like a scary movie actress. I am OK with little this and that , with a little imperfection and with a little less glamour in myself and in others too. That’s what is my next biggest change.

  • I Do Not JUDGE anymore:

Being a mom brought this most beautiful change in me. The world is so much better place now in my eyes. I somehow understand the fact that everyone deals with a lot in their daily routine. Bringing up a baby and then dealing with rest of the world in so overwhelming sometimes. So at least we can spare the judging and Let people be.

  • Priority Shift:

From a party loving person to a Movie Marathon at home

From a all time ready look to a messy bun look.

From a working Girl to a Stay At Home Mom

From a Hard Core self-shopper to an online shopper for kids

So many changes happened but all happily and effortlessly. None of these happened with any compromise. This is what I love now. Looking at babies enjyoing movie in my lap is more fun then to leave them home and go out alone

Don’t you think, Its so beautiful to be a mother. The changes that happen are all we embrace. Blissfully unaware, my babies are growing in beautiful GIRLS. They lie beside me, taking away as much warmth as they can, snuggle deep and float away like a balloon on a mission amongst the blurred colors behind their eyelids. On some nights, I watch them lying on their chest, occasionally breaking air in sleep, snoring with mouth open, yawning and then slipping back to sleep.

I think I will never allow a moment of insecurity or doubt to creep into there consciousness. To bring them up as good human beings, who are content with what they have. I wish GOD grants me that much wisdom and strength.

AMEN.!!

That was my little piece on How I think I have changed after being a mother. There are many more moms who are sharing their stories.

I am part of this blog train started by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies and she has networked to bring together 41 moms across the GLOBE. (Meet the 41 moms here. Pooja has also shared her own perspective on this here.

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Next Mom boarding this train is Neha who is a beautiful soul with a little baby boy and has amazing website Sharing Our Experiences where we can find answer to almost everything that we look for during parenting.

Happy Reading!!

And we made through 37 Weeks…

And we made through 37 Weeks…

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other WOMEN bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank my friend and co-bloggerAnubhuti Sen Sharma for introducing me. I am a huge fan of her blog Cries and Laughter where she talks about her journey with her little one. Here is what she thinks of todays prompt.

I would like to introduce my readers to my friend & co-blogger Veena Regit Her blog talks about interesting facts about her parenting journey and product reviews at The Reading Momster and her blog about the prompt is here

The Prompt for today is ” My Delivery and Baby.”


 

So As you read about the pregnancy we had, let me take you a step ahead. The whole Pregnancy we were scared of risks involved with carrying twins and also a couple complications came our way.

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Me being fond of capturing everything wanted to have a maternity shoot right in 9th month so we l=planned it when 37th week was about to end. We did a super awesome one and then can you believe the very next day, I woke up with very High Blood Pressure. May be it was the stress or the exertion that happened all day long.

Headed to the hospital and O GOD..! my BP was fluctuating heavily. My very adorable doc looked tensed for the first time as she could not operate with those fluctuations and she could not let that be. I was not responding to Meds and So was put on some IV.

So those few hours already prepared me of what being a mom means. I was under so much guilt for getting that shoot done, I was dying of the thought of my Babies Health. How could i be so careless, just for the sake of some fun.

Everybody was trying to calm me down and my thoughts were working the other way. I also wanted to relax as what I was going through was just ruining the situation. I tried to pray, meditate, relax but nothing was ok. The suddenly i was told by the nurse, its settling. Yes, my BP was settling and coming down. OMG!! I could hug her for saying that. Tears rolled down my eyes and my mom quotes her SO MOMMY QUOTE, “Maa Banna Itna Asaan Nahi Hai”. 

Well till next day I Relaxed and prayed. At 2 Doctor Announced twice, “It’s a Girl”. Both the girls were little under weight but rest all looked sorted. I was clutching my husband’s hand so tight that it was all red and marked by the end of my C SEC. It was just some unknown guilt that I had for being careless.

Well All did well and I was amazed to know that My doc had just sent me false messages of settled BP. I was still not OK. Eveb at the time of Surgery, she had called for lots n lots of blood to be sure.

But I think all the prayers we all were doing worked and all went well.

And I got my Meher n Myrah (MnM) in my hands

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The Soccer Pregnancy

The Soccer Pregnancy

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other WOMEN bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank my friend and co-bloggerAnubhuti Sen Sharma for introducing me. I am a huge fan of her blog Cries and Laughter where she talks about her journey with her little one. Here is what she thinks of todays prompt.

I would like to introduce my readers to my friend & co-blogger Neha Sharma Her blog talks about interesting parenting mantras and her journey with her son NEMIT at Growing with Nemit and her blog about the prompt is here

The Prompt for today is ” My Pregnancy”

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The day we learnt about twin pregnancy, we didn’t know how to react. It took us almost a week to digest the fact and almost 9 months to properly getting ready.

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Thankfully we had twin parents in our family who guided us a lot all through. I am sure every single pregnancy is special. They are all  difficult as well as fun in their own ways. Having a twin pregnancy was no different. It was a ride through lot of Allergies, Infections, Injectables, Medicines, Pains , Pampering, Photoshoots, Planings and what not.

There was a different experience everyday but one thing that I ll never forget and  also which differs totally from a singleton pregnancy was the soccer game that used to be an evening routine of my girls.

I was in 19th week of pregnancy when a cousin was getting engaged and a full Karan Johar Movie style party was in its full swing when i felt something fluttering in my stomach. Initially I felt its just some other perk of pregnancy but when it repeated in about half an hour, I  understood it was something I was waiting for. The so talked about ‘BABY KICKS’ and it was a moment of Euphoria because now I started feeling something inside me which had a life, a movement, a mood and a response too.

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Eventually, in few days I could feel them as proper kicks and not just flutters. By the end of 20th week they both were all active and made it a routine to play soccer or Boxing we can say with each other not realising that it was mommy’s tummy they were hitting on.

Very soon, they both fixed their heads down and that was when my most difficult stage started. They both had their legs towards my ribs and that phase of play used to be highly painful. Even though me and my family used to wait all day for that time to come as it was an assurance that both the babies were having gala time together, but when it used to occur which was almost once in 2 days that they both were active together, it used to be highly painful sometimes.

There was one other funny thing that used to happen and I laugh missing it. The hiccups. Sometimes both of them will get hiccups together. OMG..!! 5 minutes sometimes even more I used to feel a regular interval jerks. Somedays I used to cry it out to my mom that please do something to stop this, but they were still inside, we could not distract them or give them water to subside those hiccups.

It was really a difficult journey full of little problems but every bit is worth, Every bit we enjoyed.

 

Being a Girl.!! What a blessing today..!

Being a Girl.!! What a blessing today..!

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other WOMEN bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank my friend and co-bloggerAnubhuti Sen Sharma for introducing me. I am a huge fan of her blog Cries and Laughter where she talks about her journey with her little one. Here is what she thinks of todays prompt.

I would like to introduce my readers to my friend & co-blogger Neha Sharma Her blog talks about interesting parenting mantras and her journey with her son NEMIT at Growing with Nemit and her blog about the prompt is here

The Prompt for today is ” Being a Woman in India in 2017 – a Positive take”

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Usually these days whenever I hear the newspaper scrolling up and landing in my balcony, a thought crosses over my head, “what next today!! , who is raped?!! Where is an infant girl found dead or where dowry burnt a bride. ”

As I was sipping my tea, sub consciously looking for the tragic news somewhere, one of 3 year old woke up and came to me, “MOM!! When is dad returning, is he not missing his dolls?” I hugged her tight to calm down and then I realised what a blessing it is to be a girl in this century. My husband is away for work and all he is missing at the other edge of the world are his little girls. Dads these days are so involved and attached with the kids.

Although there are so many more things like:

1. Win it with a cute innocent face…

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The moment we see something going against our hearts, all we need is a cute face gesture and deep pretty eyes.  Tadaa..!! its done exactly how we like it.

2. Smile and world is all yours…

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Bollywood talks about it, Men die for it and even oldies and kids fall for it. One smile and thats all we need to take over any battle. Well, truth is a smile is the most beautiful thing on a face. It heals a broken heart, it comforts a sad soul and it brightens up even a dead day.

3. DADS can go to any level to make their dolls happy:

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Yes..!! This is see everyday in my house. Be it getting his nails painted, Getting piggy tails on his head or even posing wth pouts, my husband is ready to go any level to be with his girls and making them happy. Lets face the truth girls and daddy love is like most pretty thing to see and admire.

4. We can do anything on the name of FEMINISM and Women Empowerment:

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Feminism is a term gearing up a lot in past few years and trust me, we can do whatever we want under its cover. From partying late night to beating up a man – its all empowerment and feminism of course. Beware you GUYS..!!

5. NAVARATRI n we are literally the GODESSES:

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Well i have been super excited always  through the NAVRATRIS and now so are my girls. All elders bowing down , gifting and all those Maa Durga feel is so empowering itself. The kids learn about traditions with much more interest as they know they are earning it too.

6. Gone are Cinderella Days

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Girls are brought up in entirely different ways today. No more cinderellas crying for a night out and no more beuties wiating for the prince. Its the time of ANNA n ELSA who can win over everything without the Men holding them eeven.

Well!! even though the day started with heavy heart, we still managed to take it through with counting out blessings. I have always loved to be a girl and so i am raising my girls. being proud, confident and happy for what privileged times they are born in.

India Today is far better country for a girl. We are heard, talked to and have an opinion to present.

Mid Life Crises in women…

Mid Life Crises in women…

“I don’t know anything anymore. Is that normal? Is it normal to notice the enormity of everything and just go blank?”
― A.M. Homes


20 Years back when a young girl entered her gradutaion the class, boys were all awstruck for she was smart, intelligent, witty and aspiring. Same girl today is about to turn 40 and the girls behing her are entering the phase she used to rule. This makes her insecure, worried and somewhere envious. Thats how Mid-Life Crises is defined.

When a woman enters her 30s, she still owns the same charm topped by the wisdom and maturity. We see getting ourselves settled and many of us enjoy kids growing up and achieveng own milestones.

By the time they enter their 40’s, many women lose their taste for proving themselves, some call it contentment, some take it as surrender to their life situations. In both the cases, life gives enough reasons to question our own identity.

 

REASONS IT HITS:

There are certain reasons our great psycologists tried finding out…

  • The signs of ageing start hitting a little
  • Sometimes the partners become too busy with their own engagements.
  • For some, kids grow up and get out of virtual womb.
  • Lack of achievement of personal Goals.
  • Lack of energy and physical strength.
  • Friends and family both get engaged in their own worlds.
  • Friends or co workers becoming more successful in life.

 

SIGNS OF MID LIFE CRISES:

  • Asking yourself too many deep questions:

“I think one of the things that can happen and identify the onset of a midlife crisis is feeling ill-fit for the life you’re leading,” says Dr. Ludwig. “There’s a tendency to stop and pause during midlife and question whether you’re on the right track.”

In other words, when we start questioning and doubting the place where we exist in life.

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  • Comparing your self with the past:

Taking down the memories and being regretful for things you decided once or the life you are leading is one big and not so good sign of Mid-Life crises. This one thing often leads to depression and a sense of non accomplishment.

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  • Comparing yourself with friends and collegues:

When you know your collegues/friends/cousins are doing quite well in life and you are not so OK to accept it. Comparing  yourself with them in a way that you start feeling less valuable. Doubting ourself for being good enough.

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  • When you feel a sudden urge to get back in shape and look as smart and pretty as your younger selves. Though there is not much wrong in this if you try to get fit BUT if its turning to an obsession and you are loosing your mind over it, its alarming.
  • A constant feeling of Self Doubt and negative Self Image:

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Doubting self confidence, feeling less beautiful or less liked, insecurities with spouse and/or work, friends and other relations as well is what defines midlife crises too and something that usually leads up to depression.

Why is it neccessary to identify and get over it..!!

Yes it is very important to identify if you are dealing with Mid-Life crises as they hold a big chunk of our minds to feel bad about ourselves and the world as well. Sometimes in the crisis, we start evaluating the aspects that no longer make place in our lives. Spoiling our time and senses for something not worth anymore doesnt sound so good.

HOW TO OVERCOME 

  • Having like minded people around works really good if thats an option.
  • Try to realise the fact every wound doesnt turn to Septic.
  • Give your life an audit and count the blessings.
  • Talk to someone or better get help.
  • Try and re-analyse your achievable goals.

In quest of self Identity once again, we sometimes tend to loose ourselves. Mid Life crises is one of such situations. The only way out is to overcome it with realising self worth and counting out million blessings.

This post is a part of the #womenwellness blogathon. We have some wonderful bloggers write about topics like periods, breast cancer, PCOS and other women centric issues that are sometimes hushed or even considered taboo

Our previous blogger in the series was Sabeeka Lambe from Moms methods  (thank you for handing over the trail to me)… You can also follow her on Instagram and  Facebook

Also check out Surbhi‘s Post on Periods. You can catch her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

Stay healthy

Stay Happy

 

Why won’t you tell…?!!

Why won’t you tell…?!!

Whenever I sit alone.. I start getting the memory flashes of how we grew up together, how I learnt so much form her, how pretty she was and in such brutal circumstances she passed away. A Letter to her, for she could have talked…

“Hey U,

Where do I take this infliction in my heart, 

Where do I go to find my shining Star…

These three years have moved at their pace, but my life stood still. Why you didn’t talk..?!. when your heart was engulfed with those harsh words, why you didn’t look around. I wasn’t away, we always loved you more than the world. 

First day when you were told that you are not beautiful enough for their son, you should have told them to go and look for some mirrors..

 The day you were told, you ain’t a cook that good, you should have stopped cooking.

The day you were told, your family is a disgrace, you should have called it a time-out.

The day you were told to kill every happy nerve in you…YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED OUT..!!

I can’t forget those uncomfortable eyes across the Tea Fumes. Today, when I sit and realise what they were looking for, there is no use of extending hands. You are gone too far to come back and hold it.

I can’t forget that restless voice when you couldn’t find his T-shirt. That wasn’t a crime, why were you being punished? We couldn’t imagine those cuts on your hands, were deliberately made when a glass accidentally broke by you. 
They were socially insecure for they couldn’t be as amazing as you were, for you were too good for them,  for we loved you so much.They were just jealous of the people you’re closest to, also your dreams and goals because they wanted to control all aspects of your life. All you needed was reaching out to us just once, we were right there, beside you. Only we couldn’t realise when you went into that deep black hole alone. You shouldn’t have agreed upon being a prisoner in your own house.

I wish I knew it then, I would have reminded you of how good you were, I would have been with you, not for a minute, not for a day but for every second that followed. Their statement of we won’t support you was not true my heart. We are family, we are friends and we were bonded together.

Wherever you are today,

we still think of you,

we miss you.”

Emotional abuse, takes away many more lives. When we don’t see the bruises from outside, we tend to stay quite, its there personal matter. The  emotional abuse usually gets enlarged as physical abuse as well.

Few People are born that way. They will hate you if you are beautiful or if you are not so beautiful, if you are successful or if you are not so successful. They will hate you if you are right or even if you are wrong. They will hate you if you are popular or also if your a back stage person. They will hate you when you get attention. They will hate you when people in their life like you. They will hate you if you have courage. They will hate you if you have an opinion. They will hate you when people support you. And they will do this while they post prayers and religious quotes on Facebook for you. All they know is how to hate and hurt.

P.S. : This blog is also a part of the Blogathon series #ALettertoher started by Women’s Web to create awareness on domestic abuse and asking for help is a good way to get out of it. 

I would personally refer the book When I Hit You by Meena Kendasamy – At once the chronicle of an abusive marriage and a celebration of the invincible power of art, This book is a smart, fierce and courageous take on traditional wedlock in modern India.

 

Always talk and reach out for help if needed

Stay healthy